I'm delirious

Okay. IF you know me, you know that I love to read. But you might not know that I read these this week.

Twilight (Twice)
New Moon (Working on twice)
Keeping the Moon
Dreamland
That Summer

I love them all. The bottom three are by Sarah Dessen. Twilight and New Moon are by Stephanie Myer.


You know, I just have a lot of free time on my hands. I don't go to school. So I read/write/draw/blog/fight with sister/and watch TV. Basically all day. And it gets really boring. Some times I feel like I don't have control over my life. I mean, that's really all I do. And it gets boring. I don't know what else I can do. I can't go anywhere, I do go outside, and I am aloud to roam the neighborhood (Sort of) but there's only so much you can do without a bike. Plus, there's nobody my age to talk to in this neighborhood. Well, there is this guy who lives down the street, but we have a history of hating each other. Since the second grade. So I'm not gonna talk to him. Plus, I can't really talk to boys my age in the first place. I get nervous, and screw up my image of indifference. Girls can be vicious. I really only have three friends, and I haven't seen them since May 2006. They live in another neighborhood. So I've got pretty much nobody to talk to, and I feel like my age is a huge limit to what I can do. My parents are really, uh, loose, I guess. I mean, they don't try to stop me from doing what I want to do. I think I might have indicated otherwise earlier.

You know, when I get mad, I tend to use bigger words, and less slang. Just another one of my fun quirks. Don't ask me why, but I do. Also, the things that make me the least mad tend to make me explode with rage, and the bigger things that really infuriate me tend to make my quieter. And normally, you can tell I'm getting mad, cause I begin to sound like I've spiked all words with venom. Which I have. You could think I'm totally over estimating my anger, but I've never blown my top at YOU. At least, I don't think I have. Ug. I really, truly feel like I'm limited. And what makes it worse, is that I limited myself. I'm sorry. I've been totally jumping subjects lately. Ug. I'm disgusted with myself.


-DarkHawk09